Engagement party in Tel Aviv: how to include the family abroad

You got engaged in Israel, your friends here are ready to celebrate, and your parents are 7 to 10 hours behind. Some of the family will fly in, some can't, and the two families may not share a language, a set of customs or even an idea of what an engagement party is. This guide covers how to plan an engagement party in Tel Aviv so the people abroad are part of it, not watching a video a week later.

Ezra hosts engagement parties. Weddings, ceremonies and a chuppah happen at their own venue.

Timing across time zones

Set the toast, then the party

The toast is the one moment the family abroad must see live. Pick its time first, in their time zone, and build the evening around it.

Thursday evening for North America

Thursday is the big night in Tel Aviv, because most of the city works Sunday to Thursday. A toast at 20:30 here is early afternoon on the US east coast and late morning on the west coast.

Friday noon for Europe and South Africa

Friday noon, shishi tzohorayim, is a real party slot in Israel. A toast at 14:00 lands at lunchtime or late morning for family in the UK, France or South Africa, and the party ends before Shabbat.

The gap shifts by an hour for a few weeks each spring and autumn, when the countries change their clocks on different dates. Check the exact time the week before.

6 ways to bring the family abroad into the room

1. A live video call on the projector

The parents abroad appear on the fold-out screen, life size, for the toast. One person in the room runs the laptop, one person on their end holds the phone steady.

2. A second "remote" toast

If family is split between two continents, hold a short second toast 60 to 90 minutes after the first, for the other time zone. Five minutes, the couple on the microphone, the room raising glasses at the screen.

3. Recorded greetings

Grandparents, cousins and old friends record 20 to 30 seconds each, filmed horizontally. Edit to 2 to 3 minutes and play it after the live toast.

4. A slideshow of the couple

40 to 60 photos, 5 seconds each: each of you growing up in your own country, then the two of you. The family abroad usually holds the childhood photos, so ask 3 weeks ahead.

5. A toast in each family's language

One parent or sibling speaks in English, one in Hebrew, or French, or whatever the families speak. Keep each to 2 minutes and the whole room stays with you.

6. Send the room home

Ask a friend to take photos of the call on the screen with the room in front of it. That picture is the one the parents abroad will frame.

Combining two cultures' customs

Decide what the evening includes

In one family an engagement party is drinks and dancing; in another it is a formal dinner with speeches from both fathers. Agree before the invitations go out which parts you keep.

Borrow one custom from each side

A ring toast from one tradition, a song or a blessing from the other. One each is enough to make both families feel at home.

Explain it in one sentence

When a custom will be new to half the room, the person leading it says in one line what it is. Nobody feels left out of a moment they understand.

What to send ahead

• The call link and the family's time zone
• The toast times, in both time zones
• The greetings video, edited
• The slideshow file, a week before
• The order of speakers and languages
• A playlist from both families
• A laptop with the files as a backup

Ezra for an engagement party

One group per event, most groups 20 to 50 guests

Ezra is a private event space in Tel Aviv that closes for one group per event. Most groups are 20 to 50 guests, up to 60, and smaller groups of 15 to 30 get a different layout.

Projector, fold-out screen and two microphones

The live call, the slideshow, the greetings and the toasts run on the room's projector, fold-out screen and two microphones. The PA has two main speakers, a subwoofer, four monitors and a mixer. A DJ is possible.

A dairy-vegetarian menu and a bar

A sharing menu from the taboon oven with no meat, fish or seafood, and a bar with cocktails, wine and beer. Ezra has no kashrut certificate and is open on Shabbat.

An English-speaking team

The team answers in English, the plan works over WhatsApp from abroad, and a proposal arrives within 24 hours. See the formats on the engagement party page. When the wedding comes, the pre-wedding welcome party guide covers the evening before it.

The bottom line

An engagement party in Tel Aviv with family abroad starts from the toast: pick its time in the family's time zone, put them on the projector as a live call, and build the evening around it. Thursday evening suits North America, Friday noon suits Europe. A second short toast covers a second time zone, and recorded greetings bring in everyone else. Most groups are 20 to 50 guests, for 3 to 5 hours.